Choose Growth Self-Connection Audit
Track daily sparks and strengths to reconnect with your own direction
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 86%
The Choose Growth Self-Connection Audit converts vague stuckness into evidence about what is alive, strong, and suppressed within a person. Keep a journal of daily sparks, then compare activities that create energy with those that flatten it. Add structured knowledge by assessing character strengths, including capabilities you may not recognise unaided. Next, separate internal signals from the voices of parents, society, status, and money. Pay particular attention to interests dismissed because they seem socially unacceptable or commercially impractical. The mechanism is cumulative pattern recognition: repeated observations expose themes that a single dramatic insight may miss. Curiosity keeps the audit open rather than forcing a premature identity. A small experiment based on the strongest recurring signal then tests whether the direction creates deeper connection and growth in practice.
Origin
Kaufman describes exercises from the Choose Growth workbook used in his self-actualization coaching, including journaling daily sparks, comparing energising and draining work, and learning one's character strengths.
Core principles
- 01Stuckness often signals disconnection from the self
- 02Energy and curiosity reveal useful direction
- 03Strengths can exist before a person recognises them
- 04Inherited expectations can drown out internal signals
- 05Potential emerges through sustained curiosity rather than a guru's protocol
How to run it
- 1
Capture daily sparks
Journal moments that create interest, energy, absorption, or a desire to know more.
Pro tip Record small moments; a spark does not need to look like a calling.
Watch out Do not edit observations to make them sound respectable.
- 2
Map energy at work
List the aspects of your current work that light you up and those that do not.
Pro tip Describe specific tasks and interactions rather than judging the whole job.
- 3
Identify hidden strengths
Use reflection, evidence, feedback, or a character-strength assessment to surface abilities you may overlook.
Pro tip Look for strengths that feel ordinary to you but valuable to others.
Watch out Treat test results as prompts for inquiry, not permanent labels.
- 4
Separate borrowed voices
Write down the expectations you hear from parents, society, status, or financial fear and distinguish them from your own signals.
Pro tip Notice every sentence beginning with 'I should.'
Watch out Rejecting every outside perspective is not the same as self-connection.
- 5
Recover dismissed signals
Revisit interests you ignore because they seem unacceptable, unrealistic, or hard to monetise.
Pro tip Ask what useful need or strength the interest represents even if its literal form is impractical.
- 6
Run a growth experiment
Choose one low-risk action that gives the strongest recurring signal more room in your life, then observe whether connection and energy increase.
Pro tip Test a direction before making it an identity.
Watch out Do not wait for complete certainty before gathering real evidence.
In the wild
An analyst journals for two weeks and notices that routine reporting drains her, while explaining findings to colleagues repeatedly creates energy. Feedback also identifies communication as a hidden strength. She tests the pattern by volunteering to present the next project rather than immediately changing careers.
→ The experiment turns vague stuckness into a specific, evidence-backed direction for growth.
Common mistakes
Waiting for one grand revelation
Direction is more likely to emerge from recurring signals than a single perfect insight.
Mistaking other voices for your own
Parental, social, and financial expectations can sound internal after years of repetition.
Turning a test into a label
A strengths assessment should expand inquiry, not replace it with another rigid identity.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for someone questioning their career, purpose, or next area of growth.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for someone seeking a universal prescription or an instant final answer about their destiny.
From the transcript
“We have a workbook called Choose Growth. We have all sorts of things where you try to constantly get in touch with like what are…”
“keeping a journal is a really helpful way of of doing this.”
“self-reflection and self-nowledge is a great first step. You may have certain strengths you didn't even know you had, right?”
From the episode
Episode 465: Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman: Why Everyone's Playing Victim (And How to Stop)
Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman