Praise the Process
Reinforce effort and learning instead of assigning fixed positive traits
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 98%
Praise the Process shifts feedback from a fixed identity to controllable behaviour. Calling a child smart, great, or the best can make later difficulty feel like evidence that the label was false. The child may then avoid trying in order to protect the identity. Instead, the adult points to concrete effort, persistence, strategy, or enjoyment and links that process to what happened. This teaches the child that performance can change through action and that struggle does not disprove their worth. The framework is not indiscriminate celebration: it uses specific observations so children know which behaviours they can repeat. Over time, challenge becomes a prompt to adjust and work rather than a threat that invites withdrawal.
Origin
Extracted from Habits & Hustle as the speakers contrasted fixed praise with feedback about a child's work and effort.
Core principles
- 01Fixed praise makes identity vulnerable to contrary evidence
- 02Effort is observable and repeatable
- 03Feedback should connect work to results
- 04Challenge is information rather than an identity threat
How to run it
- 1
Observe the process
Notice the child's preparation, persistence, strategy, concentration, or willingness to retry.
Pro tip Choose one behaviour you actually witnessed.
Watch out Generic praise disguised as process praise will not show the child what to repeat.
- 2
Describe the behaviour
Say specifically what the child did instead of labelling who they are.
Pro tip Use language such as 'you kept practising' rather than 'you're a natural.'
- 3
Connect effort to outcome
Show how the process influenced the result while leaving room for outcomes that remain disappointing.
Watch out Do not imply that effort guarantees winning.
- 4
Invite reflection
Ask what worked, what felt difficult, and what the child might try next.
Pro tip Let the child name the lesson before supplying your own.
In the wild
Instead of saying a child is brilliant after a strong project, the parent notes that the child revised the difficult section several times and asks which revision improved it most.
→ The child links improvement to a repeatable behaviour rather than a fragile smart identity.
After a match loss, a coach identifies the player's consistent practice and one improved skill without pretending the team won or promising that hard work always produces victory.
→ The player can value progress and still assess the loss honestly.
Common mistakes
Using fixed labels
Repeatedly calling a child smart or the best can make struggle feel like an identity collapse.
Praising effort that did not happen
False praise removes the specificity that makes process feedback credible and useful.
Treating effort as a guarantee
Process praise should encourage learning without claiming that work always produces the desired result.
Is it for you?
Best for
Parents, teachers, and coaches giving feedback after effort, practice, or setbacks.
Not ideal for
Moments that require direct corrective instruction or immediate safety guidance rather than praise.
From the transcript
“Praise their work and their effort. Don't praise Don't tell them how great they are.”
“The second they encounter a challenge that counters that, they'll”
“Look, look, you work, you put so much effort into that. You worked so hard on that”
From the episode
Episode 478: Why Team Sports Are Non-Negotiable for Building Resilient Kids