Virtual Rapport Opening
Create warmth and safety in the opening moments of a video call.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 98%
Rebuild the rapport cues lost on video by intentionally managing the opening words, camera distance, posture, and background. Start with language that evokes connection—such as expressing that it is good to see the other person—when it fits your style. Avoid sitting so close that your face appears inside the viewer’s intimate space; measure the distance rather than guessing. Use an authentic background because visual glitches and unexplained scenery consume attention, then add one prop that answers a predictable question or reinforces credibility. Maintain open, expansive posture so anxiety does not shrink your visible presence. Together these choices make the opening feel warmer and safer without requiring exaggerated extroversion or artificial enthusiasm.
Origin
Van Edwards developed and tested remote cues while writing Cues during 2020 and 2021. Extracted from Habits & Hustle.
Core principles
- 01Video removes touch and many in-person rapport signals.
- 02Connection language can increase remote engagement.
- 03Camera proximity still activates interpersonal space instincts.
- 04A real, intentional background supplies useful context.
- 05Opening cues disproportionately shape the call.
How to run it
- 1
Prepare the frame
Set a real, orderly background and include only visual cues that help the conversation.
Pro tip Use one prop that answers a recurring audience question.
Watch out A virtual background can create distracting visual inconsistencies.
- 2
Set safe camera distance
Measure from your nose to the camera and stay outside the intimate zone.
Pro tip Use a measuring tape once, then mark the preferred desk position.
Watch out An extreme close-up can feel invasive even though a screen separates participants.
- 3
Open with connection
Use an authentic phrase that signals recognition, warmth, or shared presence within the first ten words.
Pro tip “It’s so good to see you” is simpler than a theatrical virtual hug if that better suits you.
Watch out Do not use touch language that feels unnatural or unwelcome.
- 4
Maintain expansive presence
Keep visible space between your ears and shoulders, with your torso open and head up.
Pro tip Check posture in the self-view before participants arrive.
Watch out Shoulders creeping upward can make both your appearance and voice seem anxious.
In the wild
A consultant positions the camera more than 18 inches away, uses a clean real office background with a relevant industry map, lowers her shoulders, and opens with, “It’s so good to see you.”
→ The client experiences immediate recognition and a more comfortable visual distance.
Common mistakes
Becoming a digital close talker
Sitting too close to the camera can trigger the discomfort associated with an unwanted intimate distance.
Using forced connection language
A virtual hug or high five can backfire when it does not match the speaker or relationship.
Is it for you?
Best for
Remote workers, interviewers, presenters, coaches, and salespeople who need fast virtual rapport.
Not ideal for
Highly formal calls where touch-related language would sound forced or culturally inappropriate.
From the transcript
“when we use the oxytocin words, it had double the engagement. Double.”
“on your first 10 words of a video call, you should be using oxytocin words.”
“if you are less than 18 inches away, if you measure the distance between your nose and your camera and you're less than eight inches…”
From the episode
Episode 419: Vanessa Van Edwards: The Power of Body Language and Charisma for Effective Communication
Vanessa Van Edwards